We all have heard stories about people who met favorably online but then were disappointed when they met for the first time in the real world. Sometimes, these stories can even be scary, although the reality is that truly bad experiences have happened to very few people.
However, if you are nervous or if you just want to set your mind at ease when meeting for the first time, please follow these eight safety tips to ensure a safe first meeting and keep any disappointments to a minimum.
1. Tell a friend about whom you are meeting, where you are going, and what time you should be back. If you have a photo of the person you are meeting, you can give a copy to your friend. You may also wish to call this friend during the date to share how everything is going.
2. Meet in a busy place, such as a restaurant or a coffee shop. Having people around you will create a safety zone, and you will know that nothing can really harm you with all those witnesses around.
3. Have your own transportation. Do not allow this person to pick you up at your home for the first date. Set up a place and a time, and get there a bit earlier so you can see this person coming.
4. Follow your instinct. If you do not feel good or comfortable about meeting someone, then do not meet that person. Never agree to meet someone because he or she is being insistent about it. Meet someone only when you feel comfortable doing so. Remember that you always have the choice to say no. If this person does not respect your choice, you should question his or her credibility as a caring and respectful person.
5. Bring your cellular phone with you. As I said, you can call your friend during the meeting to report how you are doing, and it will also be handy in case of an emergency.
6. Plan a short first date. Meet during lunchtime or for coffee. If you find that you do not really like the person, than you won’t have to put up with him or her for hours on end. After that first half-hour or maybe hour-long meeting, you can go back to work or home and decide if you want to pursue a longer date at later time.
7. Have a phone conversation before you meet. This will give you a sense of the person. Ask as many questions as you want. Then, after a conversation (or several), you can agree to meet.
8. If you must travel out of town, plan your own accommodations. You don’t have to say where you are staying. As I said above, plan your own transportation to travel between your accommodations and your date.
Men and women have different approaches when meeting for the first time. I know a woman who wanted to meet in person within the first or second week after meeting a man online. She made sure the coffee date was in a busy area. That was her way of finding out more about the person she was meeting and whether he was worth it. She could then weed out those she did not like or did not feel good about.
She met many men that way, without having to take extreme safety precautions, and she never got into trouble. She liked to meet for a first short date in a busy area, and then she would follow her instincts. If the man she was meeting was clearly looking for just a quick one-night, or if she simply did not feel good about him, she would just stop interacting with him right then and there.
Whatever you do, have a safety plan when meeting for the first time. The odds are that you are meeting a good person, but you never know, and you certainly don’t want to become a statistic.